Lessons in Boundaries

5 Jun

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This has been a year of growth for us…K and I. We started the year taking a boundaries class. It was insightful. It changed us more than we could imagine when we walked through the doors.

We feel healthier, stronger, more connected…and we understand each other a bit more, working through those vulnerable areas we try to hide from the rest of the world…and at times, even each other.

Now we can call IT by name. IT, defined as our messiness….We can say, “You are avoiding right now, you know this, right?” A gentle nod is all that is needed. Once spoken, those old thought patterns lose power. There is freedom in untying the knot.

*** As a disclaimer to those we love, we didn’t take the class because of marital issues. We took it because of outside boundary issues that were penetrating who we believed we were. We fully embraced the class and it strengthened our marriage. It was a positive side effect.

I’m so thankful…so thankful…to have a partner that is willing to grow with me. I know it is harder for him than it is for me. I don’t mean that disrespectfully. It is just the way we are built. I’m always looking for change, for growth, for newness. My husband looks for calm, for stillness, for more of the same. Change is difficult for him. And yet, he embraces my desire for more: the way I explore, challenge the norm and look for enlightenment. He comes along for the ride, buckled in,  fingers tightly wound around  the ‘oh shit’ handle, foot firm on the break… but he is in the car. He allows me to grow and is willing to grow with me.

Isn’t that the very definition of love? He does what is out of his comfort zone for me…not because he WANTS to. But because he isn’t willing to let me go it alone.

Love….I am blessed. I am thankful. I am loved.

 

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