The perception of Love

16 Jan

I’ve been drawn to the color red lately. With valentines on the way, it’s the perfect opportunity to add the pop of color to my home. So, I added a few things to my Target cart, like this welcome mat, that called my name.

I had to have it!

My husband and I were going out for date night Saturday evening. Since I am (always) waiting on him, I started rearranging. I put this “Love” rug on top of a red and white buffalo plaid one that I repurposed from Christmas. It is adorable and I snapped this picture to post to insta:

Cute, right?? But the rug isn’t straight! I tried three MORE times…Each time, it was slightly… off…FRUSTRATING!

Trust me when I say, to the naked eye, it was straight. I stood back and looked from several angles. I rearranged, pulled, fluffed…. But that camera lens, it told a different story. Try as I might, I just couldn’t get it perfect….I paused looking at this crooked/straight Love rug and thought….well, isn’t that how LOVE really is?

From the outside, it can look perfect ….but up close, and through the right lens, you see it slightly differently.

I giggle a little when people in my circle comment on how “perfect” my life is….always “happy” they like to say to me.

No.

I’m not always happy. I don’t have a perfect life. Truth.

What I’ve learned from my days as a newlywed is that marriage is not all cake and sunshine. If you have that perception going in, you’ll be looking to jump ship the first time it gets hard. Here is a news flash: It will get hard. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. We are best friends. We have the same goals. We not only love each other, but we really like each other….and it has still been hard. You just can’t be in a relationship that long, with flawed humans, and not go through difficult, painful times. The hope is, as you grow individually, you also grow together.

That said, as we enter the season of our 25th year, I’m surprised at just how sweet it is. Even though we may argue (about making beds, dishes, and dinner), we don’t fight. We’ve gone through enough counseling and have developed a communication style that works for us and we lean into it…hard. We don’t press each other’s buttons on purpose, and when we mistakenly touch those sensitive issues, we apologize quickly. It’s as if we are in the harvest season. All of our hard work has paid off.

Here is what I know for sure. Perfection is a thief. It robs you of any joy and causes you to work endlessly for something that is unattainable. I know this because I am a self proclaimed recovering perfectionist. The day I laid the burden of perfection down was the day I was able to really live! It has been life changing and freeing. Facts: I don’t expect perfection in any area of my life – kids, family, friends, work, marriage, or home decor.

Our LOVE isn’t perfect, but it’s true. It’s kind and gentle. It rallies. It fights for itself and for each other. It is celebrated. It keeps trying to get it right even though we sometimes fail. Our love doesn’t give up.

If you see us from the outside, your perception may be different …but inside, through our lens, we know the work, the dedication, the truth. The hard. And we still keep going. 25 years and counting, baby. We got this.

Slightly crooked. Pulled, fluffed, rearranged.

Perfectly, Imperfect.

Love,

Lady Chats A Lot

XOXO

2 Responses to “The perception of Love”

  1. Shannon Ellis January 17, 2022 at 9:57 am #

    I truly get excited when I see these pop up in my email. Your honest outlook on life always helps me put things back into perspective. Thank you.

    Lots of love. Shan

    Warm regards,

    Shannon Ellis

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady Chats A Lot January 17, 2022 at 10:21 pm #

      Thank you so much! It means the world to me that people actually read my blog. Miss you!

      Like

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