Tag Archives: Perfect

Birthday Roundup

10 Aug

Simple. Effortless. Perfect.

Defining this birthday weekend is easy.  It isn’t often that I get a WHOLE weekend to call my own.  Taking my time, letting moments simmer, refilling my spirit until it bubbled over with peace and happiness.

This was my plan.

It started with lunch on Friday with my some of my favorite co-workers. A place where “food is love”. I’m grateful to work with such genuine, kind souls.

Dinner with my two boys followed while their dad worked an odd shift. Thankfully he only works this shift every now and again.  I’m not complaining though,  I had the boys all to myself in a corner booth. Only another mother can fully understand the joy that leaps from your spirit when a child that has moved into his own space, graces you with his presence.  To have both of your children within arms reach, puts the rhythm of your heart back in sync.

To wrap up Friday, an evening  visit with the Princess. The prettiest little thing you ever did see. Rocking her to sleep, hearing her breathe  in and out…there are no words to describe how perfect this is. catalina 810

Saturday brought my 12 year old’s specialty – boiled eggs accompanied by my hubby’s  (A.K.A. Bacon Maker) -crispy strips of bacon. I gobbled them down with a smile.

Food

  Birthday morning snuggles.  Even though we have a very large sectional, both puppies and my youngest prefer to be on the same square I’m sitting on…that would be my left arm in the pink robe.

 They love their momma.

pups

Reading  love notes on my couch from my Facebook friends and family inspired me.  You all know sure know how to make a lady feel special!

I couldn’t think of a better day to give a donation.

blood

Give Blood. Give Life.

Recouping with a seafood dinner later that evening with my boys – youngest and the bacon maker, in a beautiful location….with  bloody marys

(I guess I kept the theme going!)

blood mary's. might be nice to have mini mimosas and blood mary's for morning folks. doubt many would drink them, but it might be nice to offer.

Ending a fantastic weekend with another visit with the Princess.

My tummy and heart are full.  My shoe fund received a few deposits.

I’m a happy girl.

Life is good.

Hoping  this last year in my 30’s is as easy, simple and perfect as this weekend.

Live for the moment... I believe in this. hope you had a wonderful day..?

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Breaking up with Mr. Perfect

14 Dec

brene perfectionism

Perfectionism is a beast, ripped with muscles earned in the gym of manipulation.  He is a bully.  He pushes me around, knocks my books out of my hands, and calls me names. When I’ve had enough,  we battle…  We have knock down drag out wars.  Begrudgingly, I tend to cave at his taunting.  My rationale?  If I let him get his way, the voices will quiet….However, they always seem to return.

Don’t get me wrong.  He is not ALL bad. People are not seduced by things that are ALL bad…He is suave. Moving carefully, weaving in and out of my thoughts…. He can make me feel on top of the world, worthy of praise and valuable.  He gave me a reason to work, to get up in the morning…The drive to succeed. At first you think you found your own personal coach. Cheering you on, pushing you harder, never letting you quit….

Yet, if you know him well enough, you’ve seen this player’s game…Just when you reach the top of the mountain, that moment of happiness, he whispers:

“Don’t get to comfortable.”

“Are you sure that was your best?”

“Are you going to settle for that?”

“If only …..”

The more you open up your heart and dreams to him, the more he space he consumes.

Yes, Perfectionism and I have deep roots. Years ago, I really thought he was my friend. I thought he cared for me and I let him in.

Recently, the light switch flipped and I was flooded with clarity.  I realized he wasn’t working with me to obtain joy….he was stealing it. Never allowing a moment to savor without criticism tarnishing my reality.While he may have looked like my personal coach in his cute little gym shorts, he most definitely wasn’t as interested in me as much as he was in himself… He has a huge ego, Perfectionism.

I knew it was time.  Time to breakup.  We were no longer on the same path.   I just couldn’t continue to hold his hand, knowing  his real motives.  

Confronting Perfectionism wasn’t easy.   He begged and pleaded, showing me all the things we had accomplished together.  All the things we’ve yet to do….  I couldn’t bring myself to say, “It’s not you.  It’s me.” ….It was him…I knew that much. 

My only option was to evict him from his comfy, rent free, residence in my head…It was ugly.  He didn’t go quietly…or easily.

The ass that he is, still pops in from time to time.   Most often at work when my guard is down. But now that I know his game, I can brush him off easier. The more I reject him, the less he hangs around. Maybe he’ll get the point and go away for ever….Could I get that lucky??

Beware though…I’ve heard he is on the prowl. 

If you happen to see him, and he asks about me,  tell him I’ve changed my number. I’m moving on….

funny

 

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